Korea is HOT. Thankfully, there is Juice

DATE: 6 August 2003

LOCATION: Song Tan, Republic of Korea

Hello folks! One more month down here in Korea (the southern half), 9 to go. At the moment we’re busy planning vacations. We’re allowed to take 30 days of leave while we’re here, and believe me, we will. The plan at the moment is China, because I HAVE to see the Great Wall. Then it will be off to Cambodia because I HAVE to see Angkor Wat, and Thailand because I WANT to sit on the beach, shop till I drop, and take an elephant trek.

As for Korea, nothing much has changed except the weather, which is now an unbearable combination of heat and humidity. We’ve now also entered the monsoon season, which should make driving to work in my Miata fun. If you don’t hear from me next month, I’ve probably been washed away and am floating around somewhere in the Sea of Japan (or East Sea as the Koreans call it because they hate the Japanese so much). I live in a rather large apartment with one small AC unit in a window on the far end. Upon my arrival, I decided, out of what we’ll call intellectual curiosity--because I can't think of a better term--I wouldn’t use my AC, to really commune with the Koreans, most of whom don’t have AC. Most of the world doesn’t use AC, and I wanted to sympathize, live simply. Plus, whereas my cable, water, gas and phone bill all come in at under $5/month, my electric bill was $50, and I’m cheap. As the temperature and humidity and therefore my physical discomfort rose, swiftly buried was any nostalgic need to empathize with the poor of the world. For a week I couldn’t sleep at all…I’d wake up drenched like I just ran a marathon. It’s hard to spy on communists with no sleep. They don’t do much, so I’m bored to begin with—add tired to that and you’re talking bad news. Needless to say, the couch (made of orange vinyl) now sits underneath the AC unit, and since my bedroom is at the far end of the apt, I’ve devised a complex systems of fans and shut doors, creating a corridor of cool air from the AC into the bedroom. I’m sleeping better, electric bill be damned next month. Speaking of, you will all be happy to hear I paid all my bills, and even one of somebody else’s. I’m thinking of allaying my periodic twangs of guilt about the AC issue by inviting some Koreans to come cool off in my living room.

How many of you remember playing Frogger at Chuck-e-Cheeze? Did you ever think how much fun it might be to play for real? Come on over! I had to take a Korean driving test upon arrival which had questions like, “ If it is raining, and you come to a puddle, what should you do?” Answer, “slow down or go around so as not to inadvertently splash nearby pedestrians.” Civilized, isn’t it? I also read in my Lonely Planet guide that Koreas are the best in Asia at obeying traffic signals. BIG FAT LIES. I’ve been stopped at a red light and had people pull AROUND me in order to run it. I’d sure hate to see the worst county in Asia. After almost dying several times at busy intersections lacking any sort of STOP signs, I finally asked a Korean in my office who has the right of way. “Bravest” was his reply. Being a pedestrian is the purest form of froggerdom. There are crosswalks, but they cause drivers to speed up. Since pedestrians know they’re not safe in cross walks, they figure they can just cross anywhere. This only exacerbates the problems mentioned above as it turns into a game of chicken with both the pedestrian and the motorist wanting to be “bravest”. I’ve started pretending I’m in a video game while driving, that makes it sort of fun. If I took it seriously (like I should) I would be too scared to go anywhere. My poor Miata-it will be worse for wear upon leaving this country. The parking slots are made for Miatas (actually Kias, Hundais and Daewoos, but you get the point--small). This would be fine if not for the SUV/minivan mania hitting South Korea. Most of the time, I need a can opener to get out of my car, and about every week I notice some big new dent in my door. I guess it’s a lesson in not getting too attached to your material possessions, even the really cool ones. It also furthers my pronounced loathing for SUVs.

There is a sociology dissertation waiting to be written about this place. I’ll break down what I know in a nutshell, although to be as enthralled as I am, you probably have to see it for yourself. Outside every military installation anywhere on the planet you will find prostitutes. Lots of young, lonely men doing testosterony things all day make it lucrative. The problem becomes larger in poorer countries for obvious reasons. Literally feet from the front gate of the base the fun begins. On the order of 100 bars/club line the streets all within a 5 block radius. Probably 2/3 employ girls to “dance”. I use the term dance loosely. Its more of a swaying to the beat in your lacy/leather undies thing. Some of you may be wondering how I know this. We’ll call it intellectual curiosity again (although lets be honest, where stuff like this is involved, we’re all curious). Also, as a flight commander, I get to deal with the consequences of this social situation, so I need to know what I’m up against. Anyway, these girls are known as “juicy girls”, because for a mere $10 you can buy them a 4oz glass of juice, and they will sit with you (normally looking impossibly bored) for a proscribed amount of time. Most of the time they don’t actually talk to you because most speak Russian. That’s right folks, the economy in Korea is so good Korean women don’t have to do it anymore, and the economy in Russia/Former Republics so bad they come by the plane load. This isn’t a sport confined to the young, single, creepy guys either. Everybody seems to have a juice story—where they shop, the bars with the prettiest juicies, ect. I went into a place with some of my troops one day, and the juicies knew them by name. They weren’t in the least embarrassed, but I sure was.

As you can guess, enough glasses of juice leads to other things. You can “buy their ticket” for $150-$400, and take them on a date for the remainder of the evening. While most of us would call this hiring a hooker, the nice terminology of “buying them a ticket for a date” seems to fool many young airmen into feeling benevolent about it, many times the airmen take the girl to dinner, or buy them a present before getting a hotel room. Besides, they were getting them out of that yucky bar where they were treated shabbily. It was only in May—3 months ago—the base commander made buying tickets illegal, (buying juice is still okay) and punishable under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. The rumor at the lowest levels was he did it because too many married men were buying tickets—adultery also punishable under UCMJ. The rationale was actually far more complex, and socially responsible. Read on.

The girls sign up to be international “entertainment workers” in their home countries, usually Russia and the “stan” (ie. Kyrgyzstan) countries. They do it to escape poverty, but don’t realize they are really entering into a contract with human traffickers who pay their way to Songtan, or Seoul, or Pusan, and put them in a bar. They then have to work off the cost of “transportation” which is usually $2-3K. It takes years, as they only get a small percent of the juice fees, all the while they live like prisoners, locked in small hotel rooms all day. Bad, Bad, Bad news for anybody with an ounce of social conscience. The way out is to find a lonely American GI to marry, because he’ll pay the remainder of the traffickers fee. I have 2 guys married to Russians, and two more “dating” them. The non-cynical way to view the situation is that with this many young, single people in a confined area, you’re bound to have some matches made in heaven. You also have quite a few mediocre or downright ugly guys marrying some real knock-outs. Good for them. The Russians are getting out of poverty, and marring somebody who might actually lift a finger around the house, and the Americans are getting docile, wait on them hand and foot beautiful wives. It's win-win, I guess? Sometimes the juicies con the Americans, acting as though they are “dating” and demanding presents and money. The poor, lonely, dorky GI, being hormonally challenged, does whatever it takes, not asking how buying them purses and shirts in exchange for time is any different from buying them juice in the bar. These situations amuse me; one of my fellow officers, who I’m not too crazy about, is in such a predicament. He insists, as they all do, that even though she may be a juicy girl, he didn’t meet her as such, and didn’t know she juiced until he was already “in love”. This particular Lieutenant has been “in love” with 3 different Kyrgyzstani girls in the last 3 months.

This dating/marriage presents a couple issues for me. The first is, if the juicies are locked up all day (they all come out around 5pm in what is referred to as the juicy parade), where did they meet? Was my guy buying tickets??? Where did somebody making $12,000 a year come up with the cash to pay off the trafficking debt? The second problem is security. The Russian juicies started coming in the late 80’s, and some were undoubtedly graduates of the famous KGB sparrow school. Some of those juicies might still be around, but I SERIOUSLY doubt it. A bar called Smitties is where one of my airmen told me, “old juicies go to die” he also says, “some of them are like 60!”. Maybe I should look in there. Sometimes they threaten to take clearances away from people dating Russians—the rules haven’t been updated since the 80’s. They should be worried about spies, but probably not the Russians. Between the moral issues and the security issues, I’m more concerned about the former. The good news is since both the Korean government and the Base have started cracking down on the prostitution aspect, things are better. The sex trade is still there, but you really have to look. You can still buy juices everywhere you look, for those of you who were worried.

The whole situation is so full of contradictions. On one hand human trafficking and prostitution are a humiliation for women, and so deplorable I don’t understand why there isn’t more outcry about what goes on right under our noses. On the other hand, I had a long talk with one of my troops and his Russian wife. The story has a happy ending. She’s from a village outside Vladivostok with no running water, disease, and not enough food. She came to Korea, and said the living conditions for her here were better. She worked for 9 months, met my troop, they fell in love, got married, and have a beautiful baby boy. She just went home to Russian last week armed with clothes and presents for her whole family. He treats her like a queen, and talks about her adoringly. They’ve been married over 2 years now. Then there is an airman in my sister flight who got a juicy pregnant, and has no intention of doing anything about it. He is getting kicked out the military, and sent back home, which is good, but she’ll be thrown out of the bar with no money, no place to stay and a baby. Not so happy ending.

This is getting way too long; once again thanks for playing. I know this didn’t really go into what we’re up to…so here you go: work, eat, sleep, make keen observations to write in long emails, then start over. Until next month….